Jeez, I'm sorry, okay?

In my pretend world, the one that cards me at the door before sleep and kicks me out on my ass upon waking, people actually read this here site. I worry about these pretend readers, mainly because I haven't posted anything since the first of the month and they're probably bored and pissed. For this I apologize.

I have a good excuse, though. Twice a year, for roughly two to three weeks at a time, I adopt a persona so wicked and vile that it could be attributed to only one source--law school. In order to gradumatate next spring, I have to pass these bullshit classes, and to do that, I have to get my study on. So, for about a fortnight posts will be minimal, and when they do arrive, like this one they will suck ballz.

Here's some stuff that must be said:

1) Here in the center of the universe those who control the weather have decided to make it really cold overnight and then possibly snow tomorrow. As we all know, snow is generally the shit. And while there are a multitude of reasons why snow rocks, at the top of the list (and with no apparent challengers) is football in the snow. Fuck yeah. So, if and when I rule the world, my first order of business will be a short decree mandating that during the NFL season, if it's going to snow in any city that would host a football game that week, the game must be played on the day in which it snows. So, tomorrow would feature the Bills at Jets across the mighty Hudson in the dirty-dirty. Sick.


2) As much as the "children should be neither seen nor heard" idea is kinda cool, it's pretty tough to pull off. That being said, kids under the age of 18 shouldn't be allowed to ride mass-transit in major cities. They're annoying as hell and I generally want to fight them all when I ride the subway. If I acted on my instincts, I'd go to jail, which wouldn't be good at this point in my life. So, kidz, let's all come together and keep my ass out of jail; just shut up and walk home from school.

3) Chap-stick is necessary but lame. In the winter months, the wind and cold make my lips all chapped and shit, and that sucks. The only remedy that makes sense is to use chap-stick, but it feels all weird on my lips and I feel like a complete douche when I put it on. So .... yeah.

4) I don't particularly like album reviews, mainly because they don't relay any information that you couldn't get by just listening to the album yourself. The album review is fundamentally different than the live-show review in that the live-show review involves a reaction to a musical performance that could never be duplicated ... it's a review of an experience. The album review, on the other hand, is nothing more than one dumbass's take on something that never changes. If you want to know if an album's good, just sit down and listen to it yourself. Sheesh. With that, I give you my first album review.

I listened to The New Pornographer's latest release, "Twin Cinema." There was a time in my life where my attitude towards all things "hipster" was total condescension. While I still think that tight jeans, ironic tee-shirts, horn-rimmed glasses, wacky hair, mesh hats and cans of old-school beer are stupid, I'm not a a complete dick toward the "hipster" scene anymore. Anyway, "Twin Cinema" is pretty "indie," which I'm not that big a fan of, but it's alright.

The verdict: sit down and listen to it yourself.

That's it for now. If over the next two weeks you're looking to procrastinate or just read some shit, check out my man Ace's blog--it's a good read, updated daily, and loaded with links, music, news and other crap that's interesting, funny, bizarre, and awesome.

Werd, kidz.